Plenty of Mighty Moments In Slash History have sprung from Greek mythology, but this week we’re heading north to check out the naughty Norse gods. You might think that a lack of Mediterranean sunshine would mean fewer opportunities for gratuitous nudity, but fortunately, you’d be wrong.
I’d like to explain the myths behind these paintings, but two things make it tricky. Firstly, Norse myths were often written BY the drunk, FOR the drunk, and thus are full of WTF plot twists of the highest order. For instance, the Midgard Serpent that Thor is hunting in the first painting is actually the child of Loki from the second painting. Yeah, they left that part out of Avengers Assemble.
Secondly, the focus of these pictures is not so much mythological accuracy as copious displays of man-flesh. As a case in point, other paintings of Loki’s punishment usually include Loki’s wife Sigyn (somehow he managed to have a wife, when he wasn’t too busy giving birth to horses), but here she’s been left out to make more room for angst-ridden bondage. Yes, what fanfic does today, art has been doing for centuries!
Meanwhile, the first painting is notable for the fact that somewhere amid the dramatic foreshortening and the Escher Girls-style disregard for anatomy, Thor’s genitalia seem to have gone missing. Come to think of it, is Loki gazing up at Thor’s strangely painted crotch and gasping in sympathy?
In summary: Thor’s on the top, Loki’s on the bottom, and there’s nothing between them but a pair of massive snakes. This may not be Marvel Comics approved, but Sigmund Freud would have a field day…
Hilarious!! Every time! And so true about the fanfic!